Day 366

I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Philippians 4:13


I can't help but to reflect today on the past year. April 20, 2009 was one of the hardest days in my life. I packed up my family in my minivan in the wee hours of the morning and deposited my husband at Ft Hood with prayers of hope for a safe return the next spring. I smiled through tears for a photograph. I reassured my boys that everything was fine and I returned home as the "head of household" steeling myself against the harsh reality of a year without my husband here helping me.

I've learned a lot about myself in this past year. Things I knew deep down, but never really had been tested or tried. Yes, I've cried some tears and sure I've had my days of pretty low lows, but I've learned that I can pretty much find a way to accomplish most anything. The last deployment I was still pretty carefree. I lived in a town where I had been for many years and still had my old friends and family there to keep me busy. Nothing was new. I had no kids. It really was just another day of singlehood without the demands of dating. This time I had to find a way not only to go through the motions, but actually to find a way to nurture and raise my kids to feel safe and secure in spite of their father's absence (if even only for a year.)

I've also learned that it's okay to ask for help. I'm typically a "I'd rather just do it myself" kind of girl. Well, I've learned that always doing it yourself isn't really the best. I've also learned that it's okay to use opportunites that are presented for your benefit and that it's not really taking advantage when you really could use the time to yourself. I'm a better mom when I am getting a little TLC of my own.

I've been amazed at the support of this Army town. Before moving here, I've made it a point to steer totally clear of anything associated with the Army. Well in a place like Killeen, that is next to impossible. I've found out that in spite of some of my previous encounters, there are some really awesome Army wives out there and I am glad to call them my friends.

I have looked over some of the things we've done over the past year and realized that we have occupied our time pretty well. Playdates and day trips, visits from friends and family, and even a 2 day each way journey on my own with the boys and the dog for the holidays. Yes, we've celebrated in a different way, but we've managed to celebrate. We've had fun. Yes, we missed Bill, but we still found joy in our days.

Bill is due home on Monday. There is always a possibility that Monday will come and go and he still won't be home, but I am optimistic that he will definitely be home in the next 10 to 14 days. I know that this year has been equally hard on him living in less than stellar conditions without the comforts of home. I know that he has missed being with his boys and seeing their day to day antics.

I've watched some other pretty amazing wives go through this very same trial and I am glad that they have shown me such a wonderful example and I am humbled by their strength and poise.

Deployments aren't easy times in families' lives, but I can say for certain that that my family is contributing to the continued freedoms that our great nation enjoys. And while our sacrifice has merely been time without our loved one, we remember those who were not so fortunate.

Praise God that the end of this deployment is near. We continually pray for a safe journey for Bill and those traveling with him.